


If Space is Endless and Universes Infinite, Mine would Always Include You

by JaggedwingedWolf



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam's alive, Bisexual Allura (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Coming Out, Cuban Lance (Voltron), F/F, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fix-It, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, M/M, Other, S7 never fucking happened, Samoan Hunk (Voltron), Slow Burn, Team Bonding, animals love Lance, but there will also be fun, depictions of war and violence more intense than the show, depression and mental health, except for the tiniest bits of canon that were okay, fun times on Earth, lion bonding, more risque scenes to come later, much later, once relationships are clearly established, the insane deep sleep timeskip nonsense doesn't happen, there will be angst, they take a while to get home that's all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-06-29 08:59:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15726174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaggedwingedWolf/pseuds/JaggedwingedWolf
Summary: Season 7 was a nightmare and I refuse to accept it as the next step in the lives of these people.  Shiro deserved to reunite with Adam, and to live out his life after the war in absolute peace.  The kids didn't need to see their home basically destroyed, on top of spending months in space, crowded into tight quarters.  I want the Garrison Trio's friendship back.  I want the entire team to go back to the cohesion and family dynamic they had in earlier seasons.  I want Allura to use her powers, and be her own powerful woman instead of being tossed between guys.  I want Lance to get credit for all the shit he's done for the team and the war effort.  I want Keith and Lance to be friends again.  Of course, I want Klance and not those bizarre het pairings that got thrown at us out of nowhere, and at the last minute.  I'm going to do my best to give this series, and these characters, the "ending" and future they should've had.  This fic begins more or less right after S6 ends.P.O.V. will primarily switch between Lance and Keith, but a few special chapters will be from someone else's.





	1. Chapter 1

Lance comes to slowly, his vision limited by the dim, red glow of his cockpit’s lights.  It takes a few moments to remember what he’s doing there. Sitting in Red’s pilot seat is strange when it’s not accompanied by the sounds of laser fire and explosions.  A huge yawn rattles out of him, and he stretches until his back and neck crack comfortably. He must’ve been extremely tired to fall asleep at his console. They all have makeshift sleeping places set up in the cargo bays of their lions.  It’s a poor excuse for a bed, but when the castle went up in flames, so did ninety percent of their belongings.

For the first time since he joined Voltron, Lance is glad he didn’t bring any photos of his family with him.  He doesn’t know what he’d have done if they’d been lost in the explosion. He’ll miss his video games; all that work he and Pidge had done fishing in the space-mall fountain wasted.  That at least, is a good memory he can hold onto. Pidge has been distant lately, if not outright hostile, and Hunk hasn’t been much better. His best friend isn’t nearly as aggressive as Pidge, but he’s been straying further and further from Lance in recent weeks, or phoebs, or whatever counted for “a while” in space time.  The time alone in his lion is a relief, but it's getting old very fast. He can’t really keep track of how long they’ve been flying, with the endless darkness of space and the lions’ quiet use of energy. He’ll have to check in with Coran later and see how far they have left to go.

Lance runs his hands rapidly over his cheeks, trying to stimulate blood flow and wake himself up.  Leaving his pilot’s seat, he walks back toward his bed and wonders if he should try to sleep more. They’ve all stayed in their armor 24/7 except for one break a day when they’re allowed to bathe, and then put everything back on.  His suit, though mostly self-cleaning, is starting to chafe in the joints and he misses his nightly face masks more than is probably reasonable. His skin feels like tacky sandpaper, and the bags under his eyes are so dark and heavy that they actually ache.  

His overall melancholy must distress Red because Lance feels his lion pushing urgently at their connection in his mind. 

 _Is Paladin feeling alright?_ The voice in his head asks.  

“I’m alright, Red. Just...not getting enough sleep, I guess.”

 _Do not lie, Paladin. We are connected, and I can feel you are deeply troubled._  

Lance is touched by Red’s concern. When he first tried to pilot this lion, he was overwhelmed by the intensity of Red’s will, and the constant prickling tension that filled his mind. He has to remind himself that Red is the Guardian of Fire, a fast and hot-tempered lion who instantly knows if you aren’t confident enough to pilot him.  Red is nothing like Blue, who has been calm and inviting from the moment he first saw her. She was the gentle ocean waves of Varadero, whereas Red is the blinding heat of the midday sun.

“It’s okay...really Red, I’m just so tired, and honestly still in shock I guess? I never expected to lose the castle, after everything else that happened. It always felt...safe.”

_Paladin should remember that his family is safe and with him. Castle of Lions was simply a place to live. We are now traveling to Paladin’s real “home,” are we not?_

Red’s use of “home” to refer to Earth has Lance reeling; his chest tightening and eyes burning as tears threaten to fall.  He drops to his knees for a moment, taking deep breaths and reminding himself that this is real, he’s really going home. _Was it worth it?_ The other voice in his head asks.  Losing the castle, almost losing Shiro, having to temporarily give up the fight for the universe while they limped home?  He doesn’t have an answer for that. Lance keeps replaying the last several days of chaos over and over in his mind. Why couldn’t he help Shiro?  Why wasn’t he good enough to save him? Why did he have to have feelings for someone who clearly didn’t have them back? Why was everyone starting to turn away from him?  Why did Keith seem to forget not only their bond as friends, but that Lance even existed? What was he doing wrong?

_Paladin is worrying over things he cannot control. There will be time to resolve matters when we have arrived on Earth. Settle now, and rest. There is nothing but time._

Strange as it is coming from a giant, metal lion, Red’s words are calming.  Lance takes one final deep breath and settles onto his bed. He’s far too wired to sleep now, so he pulls his communicator out of his tiny pile of belongings and brings up the space version of “Kindle.”  Coran had managed to track down several hundred different Earth books from the same vendor that had sold them the video games, and Kaltenecker. Avid nerd that he is, Lance has already read the entire Harry Potter series front to back, three times.  Some stories are just timeless, no matter when they were written. He’s also gotten through most of the Percy Jackson books, and he’s thinking about starting the Magnus Chase ones. Keith had recommended a series called The Raven Cycle, and Lance is intrigued by any semblance of kindness from Keith lately.   

Typing the name into the search bar, the app. comes back with only two of the four apparent books in the series.  Lance groans softly, and wonders if he’d be able to find the other two to read when they reach Earth. Deciding one more bit of heartbreak can’t be worse, he clicks on the first novel and starts to read.  Red listens quietly inside his mind. Lance discovered recently that he can share what he’s experiencing with his lion if he focuses on it clearly enough. The big, fiery cat isn’t very impressed with Lance’s taste in music, but he does seem to love it when Lance reads.  Maybe it’s fulfilling for the lions to learn about human culture through the stories they write.

They sit in companionable silence for a while as Lance becomes engrossed in the story.  He wonders where Keith heard about this series, and whether he had any particular reason to recommend it to Lance.  The quiet is broken by a loud lowing from the back of the cargo bay. Lance smiles softly to himself and bookmarks his place on the app. so he can tend to his favorite girl.

“Kaltenecker! You lonely, sweetie? Hang on, Lance is coming to see you.”

Climbing out of his bed, Lance walks toward the back of Red where his cow is spending her trip.  He presses a button on the panel set into the metal beside the door, and waits as it slides open.  Kaltenecker immediately crowds him against the door frame, nuzzling his chest and mooing loudly. He laughs a little, and gently pushes her back.

“Easy, girl. I’m right here. I know this is scary for you. No sky to look at, and all this hard, shiny stuff.”

Lance settles himself cross-legged on the floor, collecting and arranging the straw there to make a comfortable place for Kaltenecker to lay down.  Once he’s satisfied, he pats his thigh and his cow folds herself to the floor in a rush. She lays her head in his lap and stares up at him with her big, brown eyes.  Lance feels terrible for her.

“Don’t worry, sweet girl. Once we get to Earth, you’ll be so happy. Grass for miles, and so much sky, and freshwater. It'll be paradise for you!”

Lance strokes the fine, soft hairs on her head and hums quietly to soothe her.  She must be feeling as out of place as he has lately. They really are a perfect pair, both Earthlings who haven’t quite figured out this space thing yet.  Boy and pet cuddle for a long time, until Lance feels his eyelids starting to droop. Red gives him a little nudge in his mind, urging him to go to sleep; in his bed this time.  Another massive yawn slips out of him, and he has to agree with his lion.

“I’ll come and see you again after I have a nap, okay pretty girl?”  

Kaltenecker makes a mournful sound, but lifts her head enough so that he can stand.  Shaking the numbness out of his legs, Lance shuts the door behind him and makes his way back to the cockpit.  His bed is a mess of tangled blankets and discarded clothing. Looking at it, he’s too exhausted and lonely to bother trying to clean it up.  Pushing some of the mess to the side, he lays down and pulls his meager covers over himself. Sleeping in his armor will never be comfortable, but Allura and Shiro want everyone ready at a moment’s notice if they’re attacked.  He _could_ take the plating off and sleep in his flight suit, but Lance is worried that would be the exact moment an attack would come.  The very thought of one of Sendak’s fleets following them gives Lance nightmares, and he tries to push the fear out of his mind.

_Paladin must try to relax. There will be no peace found until we have arrived on Earth. Paladin needs his rest, or he will become even more upset. Should I show you the images you sent me? The Earth oceans and moon that Paladin so loves?_

“Yeah, that sounds great, Red.”

Lance turns over and tucks himself into a ball, focusing on the visuals his lion sends him of the beaches of Varadero.  He’s lulled to sleep by the memories of foamy waves, the cries of gulls, and the smell of salt in the air. Lance wonders if maybe he can sleep until they reach Earth, like when he used to nod off during long trips with his family.  There would never be another thing like the security of being gently shaken awake after a long drive, his mother or father picking him up and carrying him inside. He hopes, he so desperately hopes, that everything will be alright when he wakes up again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit. Keith is so much harder for me to write than Lance. I hope I did him justice. Sorry for the delays with this chapter, and the fact that it's another relatively short one. I promise that I DO know how to write long chapters, but I haven't written anything for real in a while. Now that I have my teeth into the story, it should come easier. I can't set down any definitive dates because I've proven to be unreliable with those. Please be patient with me, and I hope you like this! We'll be seeing the actual festival and more Klance interaction next chapter because I am weak and literally couldn't force out any more prose for this one.

Kosmo’s snout is the first thing Keith sees when he opens his eyes.  The cosmic wolf is draped over Keith’s middle, head aligned with his chest, and nose fluttering as he breathes deeply.  A small puddle of drool has accumulated on the blanket beneath Kosmo’s chin. Keith grimaces, and works to slide the offending edge of the blanket away from his chest.  The wolf snorts slightly but doesn’t stir. Staring around the cockpit, Keith sees Krolia and Shiro deeply asleep. His mother and brother had pushed their cots to either side of Black’s cargo-hold walls, insisting they should protect the perimeter.  A fight had almost broken out over Shiro’s ability to guard anything given what he’d been through, but Krolia had managed to break it up. The fiery Galra woman had told Shiro that he could stay in Black with them, but only if he consented to rest at least half of the time.  Shiro was annoyed, but his exhaustion was obvious, so he obliged. 

Much as he loves Shiro, and is beginning to love Krolia, Keith can’t help the heavy sigh that escapes him.  Even with the biggest lion of the group, having three other warm bodies stacked in here with him is becoming too much.  They aren’t exactly tripping over each other, but there’s no such thing as privacy. He’ll have to ask the others for a passenger swap soon.  It would do them  _ all  _ good to switch up the groups a little. 

There is no morning in space, so they’ve all come to rely on a system of hour-counting to keep their routines and circadian rhythms as normal as possible.  They left the planet where Shiro was revived around “midday” for that solar system’s sun, so they consider that their starting point. Midday becomes 4:00 P.M. so three hours on becomes dinner time, three hours from that is when everyone is supposed to be sleeping, seven hours from that is their wake-up call, and so on.  It’s probably the only thing that’s kept everyone sane this long. When Pidge had corrected Coran’s math to 1.5 years, it was an enormous relief...but also somewhat painful. It would take them over a year to get back to Earth? What would they do for all those months? How would they keep the lions powered? What would they eat when they ran through what they’d salvaged from the castle?  How would they stand being stuck in such close quarters with no escape? It was Coran who saved them from those questions. He claimed to have a photographic memory of the major star systems around this part of the universe and set to drawing them a map as soon as he was settled in Blue. They’ve been using that map to make routine stops on all friendly planets and settlements available to resupply, refuel the lions, and get a little breathing room.  

Every member of the team has their own ways to unwind.  Shiro and Krolia immediately find the most senior representative of the civilization’s government or military and keep up to date on the movements of Sendak’s fleet and Haggar’s minions.  Keith isn’t sure how that qualifies as “unwinding,” but it seems to relax them and he’s happy to know what the enemy is up to. Coran and Allura usually follow Shiro and Krolia up to a point before they go in search of crystals to power the lions.  Hunk and Pidge make a list of whatever food and toiletries they’re running out of and make a beeline for the local market. Romelle joins either Coran and Allura or Pidge and Hunk depending on her mood. 

Growing up in the Arizona desert was quiet and uneventful, so adjusting to life as part of a team has been hard for Keith.  It’s even harder since their bond is the thing that makes forming Voltron possible. Keith didn’t have many bonds back on Earth.  In fact, his life revolved around the lack of them. Getting thrust into this mission was jarring to say the least. So many things had happened in his brief time as a paladin; so much that he doesn’t feel prepared to unpack it all yet. 

_ What troubles you, young one?  _ Black presses into his mind. 

Keith is startled by the intrusion.  He’s still not completely comfortable with Black.  The huge lion is such a confusing creature. Initially, Keith thought he would only ever pilot Red, and they seemed a natural match.  Ever since he was little, Keith has felt apart from the rest of the world. As if he’s a puzzle piece thrown into the wrong box; so he’ll never fit properly.  To feel so in tune with Red, and then have to give him up will always be painful for the Red Paladin.  _  Shiro _ was born to lead, not Keith.  He pulled Keith out of foster care, got him his place in the Galaxy Garrison, and kept Keith from spiraling down a path of self-destruction.  Shiro had survived so much, and Black had chosen him as their leader. What gave Keith the right to lead in his stead? 

_ You were, and remain the right choice, young one.  _ Black says.  _ Give yourself time to embrace your new role, instead of doubting you deserve it. _

Keith doesn’t respond.  He hates to ignore Black because it feels like he’s insulting the powerful beast, but Black’s confidence in him doesn’t make sense.  The first time Keith tried to lead the team, his fear and recklessness got everyone lost on Thayserix. The only thing that got him back on track was Lance’s calm, but stern criticism.  Things improved over time, but Keith has never felt designed for a leader’s position. He was meant to be with Red. They share an impulsive, fiery energy that makes Keith feel safe. Piloting Black still feels somewhat like an argument between lion and Paladin.  Black wants him to push through his fear and allow the lion into his soul, whereas Keith would rather keep his distance. When Shiro had returned, Keith had been all too happy to give back his title and command of the team. 

If he’s being completely honest with himself, he also felt like the team didn’t need him nearly as much as they needed Shiro.  When the Blade of Marmora offered him a place in their ranks, leaving was frighteningly easy. It seemed far simpler to explore his Galra roots than try to connect with other humans, and that is so pathetic that Keith grits his teeth just thinking about it.  At least his leaving had guaranteed Lance would stay on the team. Keith still remembers the evening Lance had come to his room, looking lost and defeated. Hearing the loud, cocky Lance sound so timid and doubtful rocked Keith to his core. The Red Paladin has never thought of himself as inspirational or even particularly kind, but somehow what he said was enough to reassure Lance.  His doubts about himself aside, Keith always knew Lance was meant to be part of Voltron. That little exchange only solidified his resolve to leave and join the Blade. The team could carry on without him, and he needed to find out more about the part of himself that was alien. 

His time with the Blades helped him to become a better fighter, but it also weakened his connections with the lions and his team.  He thought they were doing so much good for the war effort, only to realize that a few loose screws like Lotor and Sendak were enough to override nearly all the progress they’d made.  Black growls in the back of his mind, clearly chastising Keith for his constant self-doubt. The Red Paladin does his best to ignore it. There’s no convincing him he’s some destined warrior, so he wishes Black would give it a rest. 

Feeling claustrophobic and hot, Keith carefully dislodges himself from Kosmo and slides out of his bed.  Clad in nothing but his black flight suit, he’s able to make his way to the pilot’s seat almost silently.  Tapping buttons on the flat console, he pulls up their position in the solar system and sighs heavily when he sees that they have at least the better part of thirteen months before they’ll reach Earth.  Have they really been traveling for five months already? It feels like time has both flown by and stopped altogether. 

It’s upon this reflection that Keith realizes he hasn’t properly seen Lance for most of those five months.  Before liftoff, he’d exchanged communicators with everyone and given them his recommendations for books he thought they’d like to read on the journey.  The series he’d shown Lance had been a  _ very _ subtle way to tell the Blue Paladin something he can’t bring himself to verbalize yet.  He wonders if Lance will notice, but he doubts it. Why were emotions so hard to deal with?  To understand? His mind jumps back to Lance’s whereabouts. What  _ has  _ he been doing on all of these stops they’ve made?  Keith is used to Lance’s constant chatter, so the idea that he’s been silent for months is deeply troubling. 

Another thought makes Keith’s stomach drop.  Has Lance been avoiding  _ everyone _ ...or just him?  He thinks back to the last few times they interacted before their journey began, and the memories aren’t exactly heartwarming.  Keith had raced back to the Castle of Lions when he and Krolia had learned about Lotor’s true colors from Romelle. He’d been so focused on stopping Lotor that he realizes he completely blew Lance off when the other boy greeted him.  His words had been delivered with impatience and anger, and Keith sees how they would’ve hurt Lance even if he didn’t mean them to. Then all hell broke loose when Haggar had taken final control over Shiro and used him to abduct Lotor and try to destroy the castle.  Keith had barely had time to breathe, let alone apologize, before he was racing after Shiro to save him. 

Remembering their fight makes him shudder.  It was terrifying to realize that they’d had a spy in their midst all along, and that that spy was the person Keith loved and respected most in the world.  How had they gone so long not knowing? What secrets had Haggar discovered before Keith could remove that cursed arm? Was she already planning how to take them apart one by one?  This train of thought is too upsetting, so Keith gives his head a good shake and sits down in the pilot seat. He’d gotten Shiro back, and even when Lotor had come after them, they’d managed to stop him.   _ Only just, though.  _  Everything is starting to feel overwhelming, and Keith must find something to stop these thoughts before he breaks down.  The team doesn’t need to see their  _ leader  _ acting like a scared child.

The answer comes to him immediately, and he takes a deep breath before hailing Lance on the lions’ intercoms. 

“Hey, Lance. You awake over there?”  

There’s a long moment of silence before he gets a response. 

“Uhh, yeah I’m awake. You need something, Keith?” 

There’s a little burn in his chest at the idea that Lance only expected to hear from Keith if he needed something from him.  Had Keith really done this much damage to their bond or was there something he’d missed while he’d been away? 

“I don’t need anything, I just wanted to talk to you.” The admission makes Keith’s cheeks flush.  That was a little more honest than he’d meant to be. There’s another long moment before Lance speaks again. 

“About what?” His voice wavers slightly, as if he’s not sure he wants to know. 

“I was thinking about what I’d do when we reach the next planet on our list of stops, and I realized that I have no idea what you do.” 

“What I do with what?” Lance sounds curious now. 

“What you do when we make our pit stops. I don’t think I’ve seen you for more than a few hours this entire trip, and I’ve never asked how you spend your free time. If...if you’re comfortable telling me, that is.” Keith holds his breath, wondering if he’s stepped over a line Lance doesn’t want crossed.

“Oh...nothing super interesting. I make sure Kaltenecker gets a chance to stretch her legs, as long as the planet has breathable air for her. Poor girl is so anxious all cooped up in Red’s cargo hold.  I find her a patch of open space and let her roam, and I stay with her to keep her safe. If I get the time, I train with my bayard. We don’t have a lot space left in the lions, but I try to find small things I can bring home for my family. You know, like souvenirs. We’re just on one big, crazy space road trip, right?” 

Keith smiles and shakes his head fondly.  Typical Lance; making their harrowing journey home sound like a cross-country vacation.  Although, maybe that’s Lance’s way of coping.  They may not be close right now, but Keith knows him well enough to see that much of Lance’s “personality” is just a cover for his real feelings.   

“What do  _ you _ do?” Lance asks. 

Keith considers making something up but decides against it since Lance would probably notice his lie. 

“Nothing super exciting. Pretty similar to you actually. I take Kosmo out and let him run around, making sure he doesn’t get into any trouble. Sometimes I follow Shiro and Krolia to check on the war status, but lately there hasn’t been much news.  I usually find a good spot away from any civilians to train with my bayard and my sword...and Kosmo when he’s in the mood.” 

As if in reply, the wolf snuffles and lifts his head, blinking both brilliant yellow eyes open.  Hearing Keith speak, he cocks his head and then leaps off the makeshift bed, trotting over to stand next to the pilot’s seat. 

“The wolf trains with you? You’ll have to show me how that works sometime.” 

Kosmo’s ears tilt toward the sound of Lance’s voice, and he gives a plaintive whine at the Black lion’s console.  Keith puts a finger to his lips and shushes the canine, worried he’ll wake Krolia and Shiro. 

“Aww, is that Kosmo I heard? You miss me, good boy? You wanna play with Lancey-Lance?” 

The wolf whines again, louder this time and Keith grimaces and places a gentle hand over his snout.  Looking back towards the cots, he sees Shiro and Krolia beginning to wake up and realizes he needs to finish this conversation before he has more company.  His next idea causes his heart to race and his face to burn scarlet, but he goes ahead with it anyway. 

“Do you maybe want to hang out  _ together  _ on our next stop?” 

This time, the line is so quiet that Keith wonders if he somehow hit the disconnect icon without meaning to.  Just when he’s about to give up, Lance’s voice lights up the console once more. 

“I mean, sure, if you want to. I hear this planet is supposed to be having a big festival or something while we’re there. I don’t know how festivals go on Sirona, but I’m hoping we can at least find some good food.” Lance sounds excited, chuckling a little. 

“I’m sure we can find  _ something  _ edible, or if not, Hunk can make practically any food out of the right ingredients.” 

Lance’s laughter ends abruptly after that comment.  Keith can’t figure out why, but he has a feeling it has something to do with Hunk.  What the hell happened while he was away, and why does the entire team feel awkward around each other?  This is the perfect opportunity to gain some information, and Keith isn’t going to let it slip by. Maybe he doesn’t enjoy talking, but Lance does, and Keith is going to get him to open up, no matter how long it takes.  

“Alright, so we’ll land on Sirona in about an hour. Meet me outside Black once you touch down, okay?” 

“Okay, cool. See you in a bit, then.” Lance sounds excited again, if not a little bashful. 

“Yeah, see you soon.” Keith taps the button and ends the call just in time, as Krolia enters his peripheral vision on the side opposite Kosmo.  

“We’re almost at the next stop?” she asks, raising a hand to cover her yawn. 

“Yeah, about an hour away.” 

“Good, we really need to stock up on better food. Those food-goo packs from Ghanan 3 aren’t sitting right with me.  I hope they haven’t expired.” 

“I wouldn’t mind a chance to stretch my legs,” Shiro adds from behind them.  He’s awake and sitting up on his cot, giving his back a good stretch and rolling his shoulders.  He turns a questioning look on Krolia and she walks back to him and takes hold of his remaining hand, fingers spread out.  Gently, she flexes them forward and back until they make quiet popping noises, the joints loosening and settling again. Shiro breathes a contented little sigh and pulls his hand back, opening and closing his fist experimentally. 

“I never thought I’d miss being able to crack my own knuckles,” the Black Paladin says, looking forlornly down at his one hand. 

“Don’t worry, Shiro. When we get home, I’m sure Sam will set you up with a state-of-the-art arm. Nothing less for the most experienced pilot on Earth.” Keith smiles at his brother, hoping to keep his spirits up. 

“Thanks, Keith. It’ll be great having that mobility back, but I’d go one-armed the rest of my life as long as I knew it would keep Haggar out of my head.” 

Krolia and Keith frown, glancing at each other as Shiro stands and walks farther down the hold to freshen up at their makeshift sink.  His mother gives him a sympathetic but determined look. Krolia meant it when she told Shiro how grateful she was to him for raising Keith.  She’s nearly as protective of him now as Keith is, and he’s proud to have them both with him on this journey. He hopes they’ll both find a way to pay Shiro back for all he’s done.  Wanting to keep his happiest thoughts at the forefront, Keith reminds himself that he has a chance to hang out with Lance in less than an hour. Attempting more connection with Black than he has for weeks, Keith pushes at the lion’s consciousness, asking for speed.     

The huge robotic cat seems to smile in Keith’s mind’s eye, and lets out a loud roar of exhilaration before engaging his boosters and rocketing toward Sirona.  Krolia and Kosmo both yelp, digging in with Galra and wolf nails alike to hold on tighter. As the planet comes into view through Black’s eye-screen, Keith feels lighter, like anything is possible once they reach solid ground. 

*** 

The lions seem as happy as their occupants to finally set down on something solid.  There’s every chance that their fuel is spent, and they lay down to get whatever a giant, robotic lion’s equivalent of a nap is.  Coran and Allura brief the team on the inhabitants and culture of Sirona. It turns out that Sironans are very similar-looking to Earth reptiles, except that they’re bipedal and sapient.  

Everywhere Keith looks, there are dozens of “lizard-people.”  The city square is decorated with flags and tapestries in rich colors like scarlet, emerald, and azure blue.  There’s the sound of music in the distance, and many tempting smells on the breeze. 

Kosmo is eager to run off into the crowd, but Keith buries a hand in the thick fur along his back to keep him close.  He has no idea how these people would react to a cosmic wolf gallivanting through their festivities, and he doesn’t want to risk upsetting allies of Voltron.  Hunk and Pidge look overwhelmed by all there is to see, and they keep going back to their list and excitedly adding items to it. Keith raises an eyebrow and hopes they’re not planning on wasting all the good will the coalition has garnered on useless junk.  There wasn’t much in the way of currency left after the castle was destroyed, so most of the team’s supplies have been gathered on Voltron’s reputation, and odd jobs the paladins can perform. Keith isn’t in the mood to get stuck moving-house for someone or serving at the local cafeteria today, so he hopes to duck away before he’s assigned anything.  

Krolia and Shiro have decided to stay camped near the lions this time to work on physical therapy for Shiro’s handicapped side.  With advice from Coran, the Galra woman has improvised exercise and sparring techniques to help cover for his damaged right side.  Keith explains where he’s going and gets a nod from both, promising to be back by sundown. Coran and Allura seem mesmerized by the architecture of Sirona, and quickly head off to question the locals about their building materials and power sources.    

Keith waits by his lion for several minutes, but Lance doesn’t turn up.  Scanning the crowd ahead of him, he wonders if he somehow missed the Blue Paladin, but can’t see him anywhere.  Kosmo whines by his side, clearly tired of sitting still and eager to explore. 

“Looking for me?” 

Keith  _ does not  _ jump, and turns around to see Lance standing just behind him, near where they left the lions.  There’s a smirk on his face that Keith hasn’t seen in so long that he doesn’t even mind it’s at his expense. 

“There you are! I said to meet up outside Black. Where’d you go?” 

“I had to figure out what to do with Kaltenecker. It didn’t seem like a great idea to drag her around the festival, but I couldn’t leave her stuck in Red either.” 

Right.  Lance’s cow needed the escape from lion life as much as his wolf did.  Keith feels bad that he forgot about her. 

“What did you end up doing?” 

“Oh, Romelle said she would take care of her for me, today,” Lance tells him. “She’s entertaining the mice and she‘s going to take them and Kaltenecker to a meadow nearby, away from the noise.” 

“That’s really nice of her. Great.” Keith is feeling more awkward by the second.  He needs to get them walking and away from prying ears before he loses his nerve. 

“Well, let’s go, I guess. What did you want to do first?” Lance crouches down so he’s eye level with Kosmo. “Does the pupper get a say or is he just forced to follow us?” 

Keith rolls his eyes. “The ‘pupper’ is a cosmic wolf, and he’s perfectly capable of taking himself wherever he wants. So I’m hoping he’ll be good and stay with us, instead of teleporting off and getting me in trouble.” The Red Paladin eyes his canine companion shrewdly, and Kosmo gives him back the best puppy-eyes an alien wolf can manage.      

“AWWW, Keith look at him! He just wants to have some fun, like we do!“ Lance leans forward and rubs both of Kosmo’s large, furry ears. “You’ll be good, and we’ll have a blast, right bud?”  

Kosmo presses his nose into Lance’s cheek and gives it a tiny lick, tail wagging excitedly.  The look on Lance’s face upon receiving a Kosmo “kiss” is so ridiculously endearing that Keith has to turn away to hide his flush.  Boy and wolf continue to metaphorically coo at each other until the mush is too much for Keith and he places a hand on Lance’s elbow, pulling him upright. 

“Okay, that’s enough. Let’s go check out the festival while we have the chance.” 

Keith lets his nose lead him, and begins walking towards a stall selling what looks like large platters of grilled meat and some sort of spiral tuber, like purple potatoes. 

“Hungry yet? That smells amazing.” 

“Dude, I’m always hungry. Growing boy right here.” 

Lance grins and follows Keith, Kosmo walking between them, nose flexing as he takes in scent after scent.  This will work. He’ll get them both something to fill their bellies, then they can find somewhere quiet to spar, and then maybe Keith can get Lance to tell him what’s been upsetting him.  Keith just hopes that it isn’t  _ him. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think of my first baby steps into the world of alien planets? I'll admit, this shit is so much easier to visualize than verbalize. There are many more months left in their trip. I certainly won't be making a chapter for each because that would be insane, but there will be more road trip shenanigans before they get home.
> 
> Kudos are lovely, but PLEASE leave a comment and SHARE the story with friends!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance explore Sirona's festival scene, we learn a little about wolves, and then everything becomes a little too much to much to handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thousand apologies for how long this took. I'm sure many of you thought I would never update this fic again, and that's totally on me. My bipolar depression combined with ADHD makes writing a passion, but a goddamn challenge. I wasn't in a great headspace for the remainder of 2018, and when 2019 rolled in, both my parents ended up hospitalized. When your dad has a stroke and your mom has heart trouble, everything else just takes a backseat for...months. It took me forever to get back into the flow of writing again, and I wrote this chapter all in one long shot. I hope it's okay. I fully intend to update this fic on a regular basis now, but I can't really tell you how that will go. I sincerely apologize for my absence, and I hope you'll give me another chance to tell this story.

Sirona’s festival is incredibly vibrant.  Lance almost trips multiple times; his gaze trained everywhere except where he’s walking.  The colors from the marketplace extend to every corner of the town. Banners are strung between houses, tapestries flung over balconies, and handmade dolls nestled on windowsills.  It reminds him of holidays back home in Cuba. He dearly misses Carnaval and Bienal de la Havana. It’s so gratifying to see that alien planets still resemble home if you look hard enough.  There are the smells of rich food everywhere and the sounds of laughter and bartering. Lance wants to dive in and enjoy it, forgetting the war for a while. He finally trips for real and almost takes Kosmo down with him, but Keith fists a hand in the back of his flight suit just in time.

“Hey, I thought you were our sharpshooter. How about you try to _aim_ your feet a little better?” Keith says, a smug little grin on his face.

Lance scoffs, and stands properly again. His cheeks are a little warm, embarrassment sinking into his chest.

“Sorry, I’m just...really excited. We don’t get to see stuff like this much anymore. There’s so much fighting and so many planets were ruined and it’s just...fun. It sort of feels like Earth.”

Keith’s expression softens and turns thoughtful.  He releases Lance and reaches down to run a hand over Kosmo’s head and ears.

“Right, that makes sense. I shouldn’t have teased you.”

“Nah, it’s fine. No harm done. I _do_ need to watch where I’m going. We don’t want to accidentally topple a food cart or something.” Lance smiles wide, trying to diffuse the tight, awkward feeling in his chest.

“Speaking of food carts, that one looks good.” Keith points to a stall with long skewers of meat, spirals of vaguely familiar-looking tubers, bowls of bright peppers, and something frothy and blue.

Lance’s mouth begins to water at the very idea of eating something other than goo, and he’s already heading for the stall without even answering Keith.  The Red Paladin and his wolf jog to catch up with him, and all three study the offerings quietly. Lance is about to place an order when he catches Kosmo reaching his fuzzy snout up to the display of meat and sliding just his canines past his lips.  The wolf is obviously about to snatch himself some free meat, and Lance reacts without thinking. He dives for the wolf’s head, clasping a hand around his mouth to close it, and immediately regrets his decision. A guttural growl reverberates from deep in Kosmo’s chest as he turns an angry stare on Lance.  Having never experienced aggression from the wolf before, Lance’s heart jumps into his throat and he goes rigid with panic.

“Calm down. He can sense your fear. Let go slowly, and back up towards me.”

Lance is relieved to hear Keith’s voice only a foot or so behind him, and he does as he’s told, pressing his back into the other boy’s chest a little in anxiety.  Kosmo’s deep growl quiets until it turns into a strange combination of grumbles and whines. The wolf dances from foot to foot, seeming confused by Lance’s distance.  Letting out a shuddering, painful breath, Lance glances sideways at Keith as the Red Paladin comes forward and crouches in front of his wolf.

“Kosmo’s not a dog, Lance. I learned that the hard way. You can’t just jump in to correct him and expect him to comply. He runs on instinct, and he doesn’t have all those years of domestication that dogs do. He won’t fetch, he doesn’t come to you unless he wants to, and if you try to take something he thinks is his, you might lose your hand.”

Lance takes several more deep breaths and tries to slow his racing heartbeat.

“Sorry...he’s just so nice to everyone...I didn’t think.”

“It’s okay. He didn’t really mean to hurt you, it’s just who he is. You see how he’s acting now. He’s already gotten over it and wants you to relax and be his friend again. If you were another wolf or animal, that reaction would’ve been a warning to back off and let him have what he wants. Have you ever met a wolf hybrid on Earth? They’re a lot like Kosmo, but he’s much smarter. People breed wolves with all sorts of dogs and even other wild canids, trying to get a ‘pretty’ or ‘cool’ pet, and then freak out when it eats through their front door and corners their cat. There’s no way to take the wild out of a wolf. That’s why we bred dogs.”

Lance feels calm now, and he steps forward to crouch in front of Kosmo with Keith.

“Huh...you really know a lot about this stuff, don’t you?”

“It’s just a hobby or a...passion I guess? Living on my own for a while, feeling out of place with people, I guess I developed an appreciation for animals. They’re so clearly defined, so sure of their place in the world; their purpose. I wanted my life to make that kind of sense.”

The admission strikes a sore spot in Lance, and he feels his heart start beating rapidly again.  Keith is being so open that Lance wonders if he even realizes what he said. It was one thing to feel out of place in a team of magical, robot-lion pilots, but to feel like you didn’t fit in with _any_ humans was so desperately sad that Lance doesn’t know what to say.  A proper response isn’t forthcoming, so the Blue Paladin leaves the topic alone.  Keith reaches his hands out and ruffles the long fur on Kosmo’s cheeks and neck, turning to Lance and inclining his head.  After a moment of hesitation, Lance reaches out and rubs gently between the wolf’s eyes, smoothing the shaggy hair down the crown of his head.

“I’ll remember not to treat you like a dog from now on, bud. Sorry I overstepped. We cool?” Lance looks right at Kosmo, fully believing the wolf is intelligent enough to understand the meaning of his words.  Kosmo tilts his head a bit, then whines comically loudly, pushing his nose into Lance’s hand as if in apology. This pulls a smile out of Lance, and he finally feels the air clear.

“Excuse me...are you still going to order something?” comes a voice from above them.  Keith and Lance both blanch, acutely aware they’ve been crouched in the dirt and talking to a wolf directly in front of the very confused Sironan merchant.  Both boys scramble to stand back up and face the merchant, sweating and trying to ignore the color in each other’s cheeks.

“We’ll take uhh...3 skewers, two of those purple potato things and...what _is_ that blue stuff?” Lance asks, his brows knitting in concern as the frothy blue liquid shudders and several large bubbles float out.

“Oh, that’s Irkanian scuttler juice. Delicious stuff. The little buggers live in the desert and store water in little sacs under their shells. A little sour, a little metallic, but that passes. How many do you want?”

Keith’s face abruptly morphs into something akin to terror, and Lance isn’t much better off. Not wanting to offend the locals, he steps forward and puts on his most polite voice.

“Ah, no we’re actually fine. I remember now that our friends got some of that earlier, from the general of your army I think. We’ll be sure to try it when we head back, but we’ll just take water for now, if you have it.”

The merchant shrugs and bends to grab two bottles of what Lance assumes is water contained in bottles that, while clear, appear to be made of something ceramic.  The Blue Paladin shakes his head and reasons that there are some things about alien planets that will never makes sense. As the merchant carefully wraps their food in crinkling paper, Lance glances back at Keith and mouths, _How are we paying?_

 _Voltron good graces?_ Keith appears to mouth back.

Turning back around, the Blue Paladin looks at the tempting pile of foodstuffs and begins to rummage in the belt of his armor, looking for nonexistent currency.

“Oh, no charge.” the male? Sironan says, raising a placating hand. “You kept your animal from stealing my wares, which I greatly appreciate. I can see you are paladins of Voltron, and your service to our planet is payment enough.”

Genuinely proud for the first time in many weeks, Lance nods gratefully and takes the bundles of meat and potatoes.  Spinning on his heel, he hands Keith his portion and then leans down to give Kosmo his meat skewer, carefully avoiding any body language that would imply he was teasing the wolf. Kosmo sniffs the meat curiously, looks Lance in the eyes, then snatches the entire skewer and trots ahead of the boys.  Keith begins to follow him, so Lance follows Keith. The meat isn’t very tender, but it’s richly spiced and the potato things are fun to eat, with a soft texture that reminds Lance of steak fries. Munching on their meals, both paladins set a comfortable pace as they weave their way out of the marketplace.  Keith points out a small hilltop, isolated from the commotion of the festival and with adequate height to look out for danger. Lance nods and they make their way up to the top, Kosmo digging in with his nails and easily outpacing them.

The wolf reaches the peak first and immediately lays down, propping his prize between his paws and setting to work eating it.  Keith settles near Kosmo, but not so close as to invade his space. Lance sits cross-legged across from Keith and carefully sets his food down, sure to keep the paper between it and the dirt.  He removes the top of his water bottle and takes a long pull from it, wiping the corner of his mouth as some liquid drips past his lips. The Red Paladin pauses and seems to decide something, securely wrapping his remaining food in the crinkly paper and setting it out of Kosmo’s reach.  

“Lance, can we...talk?”

The phrase shocks Lance so much that he chokes on his next gulp of water.  He comes up coughing and taps a fist to his chest to dislodge the water from his windpipe.  Keith looks mildly horrified and reaches out to set a bracing hand on his shoulder. Lance has no reason to be acting like this.  It’s just a normal question. They aren’t in any sort of relationship for those words to mean anything but exactly what they say.  This isn’t a romantic comedy nor a tragic romance novel, it’s just them.  Keith and Lance, paladins of Voltron, rivals, friends? The Blue Paladin shoves his apprehension and fear down deep and gives Keith a small smile, trying to appear normal.

“Sure, buddy. What’s on your mind?” Lance can feel the sweat beginning to accumulate on the back of his neck, and his hands are clammy inside his gloves.  They’ve barely shared a conversation since Keith came back from the abyss, and for him to suddenly sit down and want to discuss, something must be bothering him.  Keith steeples his fingers together and looks at Lance in the face, if not quite in the eyes. He takes a deep breath and asks a question.

“Are you angry at me?”

It’s perhaps the most mundane, most nondescript question he could have chosen, yet it chills Lance to the bone.  How is he supposed to answer? Should he feign indifference; covering Keith in platitudes and assuring him that everything’s fine?  Fine? That’s just it. Everything is not fine. In fact, nothing is. There is a burning sensation in his throat and a clench in his belly that has nothing to do with the food they just ate.  Lance wants to simultaneously reach for Keith and scream in his face and get up and run as far away as he can. He wasn’t expecting this, to have to confront this so soon. How is it always Keith that makes him react like this; like he’s been ripped open and is waiting for his guts to spill out?  If someone had asked him who he thought would be the person to wonder about his feelings, Keith would be dead last on the list. It takes a gentle shake of Keith’s hand on his shoulder to bring him back to the present, and he realizes he’s clenching his fists uncomfortably tight. His entire body feels like a livewire, just waiting for a spark to escape and set everything on fire.  Maybe Red is rubbing off on him, or maybe he’s been burying this pain so long that it refuses to stay underground anymore.

“Yes…” Lance breathes out, his voice barely audible.

“What...Lance, I didn’t understand what you-”

“That’s the _problem_!” He’s shouting, not into Keith’s face, but down at his lap.  Head bowed, he relaxes his hands only to dig them deep into the dirt, nails scoring lines into the soft soil even covered as they are by his gloves.  Keith draws back, his hands falling to his sides as he searches Lance’s face for some clue of how to react. Kosmo flinches, whining loudly and looking between the two of them.  It’s mortifying when the Blue Paladin feels tears start to prick at his eyes. Breathing is suddenly difficult, and he takes short, sharp breaths as he starts to crumble.

“You never _understand_!” Lance is trying his damndest not to sob. “You just _do_ things and don’t think about what might happen or how it might affect the war or who it might hurt.”

Keith’s eyes widen and he looks stricken, cheeks coloring and sweat starting to build on his forehead.  Lance plows on, quite unable to stem the flow now that the dam is cracked.

“Rushing off in Red by yourself, taking that crazy Blade of Marmora test, _joining_ the Blades, trying to fight the entire empire by yourself in Black, coming back to us only to leave _again_ and go somewhere so completely out of our reach that even _they_ couldn’t contact you…” Lance brings one hand up to his chest, clenching the exposed fabric of his flight suit in a death grip. “You’re so damn good at DOING, but never at THINKING!”

He hears rather than sees Kosmo sit down heavily, his plaintive whines only adding to the roaring inside the Blue Paladin’s head.  Lance can’t bare to look up. As much as he needs to say this, he doesn’t want to hurt Keith. Despite everything, he can’t imagine wanting the other boy to feel like he does.  No one deserves this kind of pain; this twisted, confusing, miserable ache that seems to radiate from his bones. Why does he care so much? What’s so different about Keith that makes it feel like Lance can’t function properly when he’s gone?  Why does it _hurt_ to be around him?  Lance doesn’t have answers, not to any of those questions.  He grits his teeth against the fresh wave of sobs trying to escape; trying to split him open further.

“Lance...I’m sorry. I had no idea that you, that I...I didn’t know.” Keith stutters and stumbles over the words.  He can’t seem to say anything else, and it infuriates Lance.

“Why don’t you ever stop? Why don’t you just pick us, just once? Why don’t you ever _stay_?”

Looking up into Keith’s eyes, he sees his own emotions echoed in the other paladin’s face.  Confusion, fear, pain...and it drives him crazy. The Blue Paladin is snapping to pieces, his carefully cultivated barriers crumbling to dust at one single question.  This isn’t what’s supposed to happen; it’s not what he wanted. He doesn’t want them to both be in pain, he wants the pain to stop. Keith lifts one hand, seeming like he wants to reach for Lance, but he abruptly drops it.  Shifting so he’s sitting back on his ass in the dirt, Keith turns his head away. The final scrap of him is torn open and Lance gives in. Folding in half at the waist, he lets loose the first of many horrible sobs. The tears that he was valiantly holding back come flooding down his cheeks in horrible, stinging rivers.  Body shaking and lungs burning from lack of air, the Blue Paladin spills his hurt all over the soft Sironan dirt.

The noise of footsteps scuffing nearby startles Lance out of his sobs.  Turning away from Keith, and anyone who might be walking up the slope, he presses his hands to his chest and tries to calm his breathing.  His face is absolutely wrecked; hot and puffy and shiny with tears. Keith hasn’t made a sound since he stopped talking, and Lance is thankful for it.  Right now, he doesn’t want to hear anything. Doing his best to wipe the evidence of his breakdown off his face, Lance takes several sniffling breaths and turns to face their company.  The Blue Paladin almost faints as he sees who’s come upon them: Shiro and Krolia.

“There you two are!” Shiro exclaims, crouching so his one remaining hand rests on his knee. “I can’t believe how far you walked. You must’ve been preoccupied with something to come this far out without contacting anyone.”

The guilt creeps up Lance’s neck and rests there like an itchy, prickling rash.  Of course, they should’ve checked in. It was incredibly irresponsible to just wander and not rendezvous with any of their team members.  What would have happened if one of them got hurt? Would they have been found in time? The urge to drop his gaze and scuff his boots in the dirt is strong, but he forces himself to maintain a respectful posture.

“I’m really sorry, Shiro. We got some food...and we were talking...and we forgot to check in...it was stupid.”

“Lance, you’re not stupid, but please call us in the future. We’re not familiar with all these planets, and it would be scarily easy for someone to ambush us. I don’t want anything to happen to you two.”

Keith is suddenly between them, giving Shiro a neat little bow that confuses the hell of out Lance.  If he wasn’t so spent, he’d probably ask if someone had switched Keith with an impostor. Shiro’s face contorts into what Lance can only identify as an embarrassed sort of smile.  The Black Paladin rests his hand on Keith’s head and digs his fingers in, swirling the boy’s hair back and forth until it’s a complete mess. Keith stiffens, but seems to break from his odd stupor and stands back up, frowning at Shiro as he tries to finger-comb his hair back into order.

“What the heck was that, Keith?” Shiro rubs the back of his neck, looking slightly overwhelmed. “You haven’t bowed since we were training in the dojo...when you were fourteen.”

Keith grimaces and abandons his efforts to t ame his hair.

“It just...it seemed appropriate...I don’t know...I just felt like I owed you a real apology...for doing something reckless... _again.”_

The word “again” sends another wave of aching pain through the Blue Paladin’s limbs, and he forces his body to remain still.  He won’t start crying again, not like that, not in front of Shiro. Krolia clears her throat, apparently annoyed that no one has addressed her in their little conversation.

“If we’re done apologizing, can we get back? The lions are already loaded with fresh supplies and we’ve managed to secure several crystals for power, but they’re small.  We’ll have to stop again pretty soon, so we should get as far as we can before we have to refuel.”

Shiro, Keith, and Lance nod in turn and the boys crouch to collect the remnants of their food before following the adults back down the hill.  They say nothing. They don’t look at each other. Kosmo trots up behind Lance, pushing his nose into the boy’s palm and grumbling anxiously. Lance wants to reach for him, to pet him and reassure him, but he can’t.  Kosmo, as an extension of Keith, feels foreign and painful. When he offers no response to the wolf’s concern, Kosmo actually whimpers and scurries over to press close to Keith. Lance feels gutted all over again.  Krolia and Shiro glance back at them occasionally, seeming to wonder at their silence, but neither boy utters a word until they reach the lions. By then, it’s only a few quiet orders and they’re back in their pilot seats, taking off for worlds unknown again.

The moment he settles into Red’s cockpit, Lance can feel the lion pressing urgently at his mind, begging for information.  Red is terribly concerned by how fragile his pilot’s mind feels, but Lance ignores the questions. Dragging the last shaky fragments of his walls back up, he shuts his lion out and flies in agonizing silence.  That was one of the most horrible experiences of his life, and he has absolutely no energy left to try to pick it apart. Lance wants to believe this isn’t the end, that this was just a mistake, that they can get past it.  Maybe they’ll just pretend it never happened; never bring it up again and just try again tomorrow. Problem is, that part of him is a tiny flicker in a sea of dark, churning waves of misery. He  _wants_ to believe it, but there’s a much bigger part of him that is terrified he just destroyed whatever meager trust Keith had left in him.


End file.
